Pass/Fail #8

You will never graduate

from this dream

of blue books.

No matter how

you succeed awake,

asleep there is a test

waiting to be failed.

The dream beckons

with two dull pencils,

but you haven't even

taken the course;

when you reach for a book - 

it closes its door 

in your face; when

you conjugate a verb - 

it is in the wrong 

language.

Now the pillow becomes

a blank page. Turn it 

to the cool side;

you will still smother

in all of the feathers

that have to be learned

by heart.

 

This poem gave me anxiety when I was reading this, talking about testing when the AP test is less than a month away, NO THANK YOU. That’s adding on to the extra pressure that I don’t need in my life right now. Speaking of life, although the structure and symbolism behind the poem is about taking a test, it’s about life. In life, we have choices that can change everything, whether it be which college you want to go to (help), if you want to get married, and what your career should be. Life is a test full of multiple choices and open ended questions, only thing is, you can’t really study for it, you either pass or fail. The blue books nightmare could express the discomfort that the person is going through in their existential crisis. It shows that they are not happy at the moment because they unsure about their future. Kind of show that they are depressed or scared of taking any risks in their life. The pencils could symbolize what path you’re taking and how sometimes you’re not sure whether the each path could lead you to a path of success or a path of self destruction. And the pillow to me symbolizes that it’s totally okay in not knowing what you’re going to do in the future, which is basically the story of my life at this point, maybe we all could use a pillow, I enjoy naps…. But there’s the beauty of the unknown, I might not know what I’m going to do in the next year, but I don’t need to worry about that, I need to worry about now.